Do you ever feel jealous? Most of us do, but it is jealous behavior, not
feelings, that cause trouble. The feeling of jealousy in a relationship is
normal, but the behavior that can result is often irrational and
destructive. If you want to avoid the trouble jealousy can cause, start by
accepting responsibility for it.
Blaming others for what they feel is a mistake, for jealousy is most often a
product of our own insecurity and low self-esteem. It happens because we
see ourselves as having less to give than the object of our jealousy.
Soon we become unable to see our own strengths and good points, which leads
to feeling devalued, depressed and worthless. We forget the simple fact
that because another person may not choose or be able to meet the conditions
that have been agreed to in our relationship, our inner value as a person is
not lessened, nor is theirs.
Jealously ceases to be a problem only when we regain a feeling of worth and
self-respect, and when we remember that loyalty in relationships can only be
offered, never demanded. Learning to let go in this way, when we believe
that love is based on "holding on to," is difficult but extremely
worthwhile. When we conquer the extremes of jealousy, we emerge as better,
stronger, happier people and our relationships inevitably improve.
feelings, that cause trouble. The feeling of jealousy in a relationship is
normal, but the behavior that can result is often irrational and
destructive. If you want to avoid the trouble jealousy can cause, start by
accepting responsibility for it.
Blaming others for what they feel is a mistake, for jealousy is most often a
product of our own insecurity and low self-esteem. It happens because we
see ourselves as having less to give than the object of our jealousy.
Soon we become unable to see our own strengths and good points, which leads
to feeling devalued, depressed and worthless. We forget the simple fact
that because another person may not choose or be able to meet the conditions
that have been agreed to in our relationship, our inner value as a person is
not lessened, nor is theirs.
Jealously ceases to be a problem only when we regain a feeling of worth and
self-respect, and when we remember that loyalty in relationships can only be
offered, never demanded. Learning to let go in this way, when we believe
that love is based on "holding on to," is difficult but extremely
worthwhile. When we conquer the extremes of jealousy, we emerge as better,
stronger, happier people and our relationships inevitably improve.
Lou Tice
The Pacific Institute
www.thepacificinstitute.com
No comments:
Post a Comment